Senior Day

1) I decided Senior Day would be a good name for a band. A band of really old people. The inspiration for this comes from Dixie Nutrition’s monthly celebration of geezers and their constant need for supplements because…gasp…their bodies don’t make the stuff THEMSELVES?!?! Gah! What a terrible life! Poor chaps. I plan to be the coolest old person on the block when I’m 90.

2) Remember to not eat gluten. It’s evil.

3) So I decided we should all be more tolerant of other religions. Usually at least once a day when I’m driving around, I flip the radio to 88.1 and listen in on some preaching. Those guys speak a lot of truth. Give it a whirl sometime.

4) I think Lady Gaga blasphemes everything sacred in the world when she calls herself an artist. Yes, times have changed my friends, even dirty rotten whores can be artists! Yay!

5) I think rap and hip-hop should stop stealing music from classic rock bands. Is this an ethics issue here?

6) The Office was really weird tonight.

7) Heh heh, remember that time Emily, that I got pulled over by Officer Carter of the SGPD, and he asked me for my driver’s license, and I tried to hand him my debit card. and he was like, “Whoa, wrong card buddy.” And I was like, “Oops! Heh heh!” and we all had a good laugh, well, probably just me and Officer Carter. You were probably still really mad at me for almost running that lady over. And Officer Carter probably thought I was drunk? Good times!

8) KRAVE WAS OUT OF CAPTAIN CRUNCH TODAY. THAT IS A NO-NO.

9) We STILL cannot figure out at my work which onions are the regular yellow onions, and which onions are the SWEET yellow onions. And every time a customer brings onions up, we always talk among ourselves, and ask the same question every time, “So uhhh, are these regular yellow onions or sweet yellow onions?” And of course the customer never knows the answer, but we’re just SAYING that to pull some chuckles out of the customer, but it never works, and then you know what? I realize it really isn’t that funny at all. GOSH, LIFE IS SO HARD

10) So this month’s edition of the Ensign was ALL ABOUT BLOGGING. And how great a tool it can be in sharing the gospel. And it featured all sorts of bloggers who get like, 300 visitors to their blog daily, and who actually have blog comments sent to their email so they can REVIEW THEM FOR INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT! I mean…come on! How on earth do you get a blog so popular that you get SO MANY COMMENTS that you have to review them all? I get an average of maybe 2 comments per entry. And there isn’t usually anything inappropriate, unless Emily writes some dirty things on there.

11) I learned in this particular Ensign that you need to be careful on your blogs with the PICTURES that you choose to put on it. Because it’s a well known fact that a rapist is looking at my “Dixie Nutrition Gluten-Free” sign below, and making plans as we speak to come rape me tomorrow at work. SO THIS ENTRY WILL HAVE NO PICTURES. NONE. TEXT ONLY. I’m just trying to protect my family, that’s all.

12) The number of Apostles in the church.

13) Emily’s favorite number.

14) Robert Frost is SO COOL. He’s just like me! Except he’s good at writing poetry! Sup Bob!

15) Married life is great. I approve of Emily’s meals that she conjures up out of nowhere. And for going and getting me a burger and a strawberry malt at Dairy Queen the other night. Who can dispute the mighty sweetiness of Emily? Let him be smitten by my karate chop!

16) I could probably go on forever, but umm…no. SENIORS ROCK!

Ok fine, here’s a picture.