Desert Coral

I worked at a place for 5 years, thought I was an okay employee. And then I faded away.

Brian Damage

The title refers to the "name" of a song by Pink Floyd, as it was written on a Pink Floyd shirt I used to have. BRIAN DAMAGE! I wrote this blog for the simple fact that I don't want to forget it, maybe I'll use it in a story or a song or something.

I don't know

WHY DOES NO ONE FIND IT WEIRD THAT CHRISTOPER CROSS AND CHRIS CROSS DIED ON THE SAME DAY. WTF

Guilt Sweep

I love having my wife mad at me (genuinely mad), because then I don't feel guilt about doing things that I normally feel bad about. Like running off somewhere to look at birds. The guilt is swept away.

The Future

If you had an opportunity to know your whole future, down to the tiniest detail, would you take that opportunity? Some people say no, because if you know what's going to happen, then that ruins the future, or you live differently, and then the future is just different anyway. But if the Bible has taught us anything, and it hasn't, it's that Jesus predicted the future to Peter, and said, "you're gonna deny me 3 times," and Peter was like, "Nah I don't think so." And then Peter denied him three times. Then he remembered what Jesus said. Peter gets one future prediction, ONE, and he still totally forgets what is going to happen. Can you imagine if someone predicted everything in your entire life? You'd forget EVERYTHING, YOU BUMBLING FOOL.

And Thus It Is: The Sequel

I'm still mad at certain people. I have this nagging inside me that I shouldn't be, that it's stupid to be mad. But then I think of them all sitting there, having a good time, not inviting me to participate in this particular activity they're engaged in, and then my anger returns, and it feels justified, and it's fine because it's not hurting anybody, because if the experience has taught me anything, it's that they don't care, I'm the only one who cares, and I'm the only one who's hurt, and I'm the only one who will continue to be hurt by my insistence on continuing to be angry, and because of that, it's a very selfless attitute I'm taking. Look at me! Look how selfless!

Rock Wren

Awww, a cute little Rock Wren, just singing and bobbing up and down on a rock. I look at it in my binoculars. Aw. I take some photos of it with my Canon T6. My friend says, "Whatcha lookin at?" "A Rock Wren," I reply. "Want to peep at it in my binoculars?" "Nah," he says. "Should I?" "That's up to you," I reply. And he decides not to.

And thus it is

I'm angry right now at some people I know, and no one cares, and they don't care, and they don't even know, and I don't want them to know, but deep inside, I want them to know, but I also know they'll never know, and for some reason, I like being mad at them, and I hope that I'm mad at them forever, and I want to cut them out of my life, and the reason is stupid, but it's my reason, and I hate that I'm going to forget about this anger within a week, and I'm going to talk to them again, and this will all have been in vain, and I don't want my anger to be in vain, I want it do something impactful, I want them to know that I'm hurt, and I want them to feel awful about it, but I know that will never happen, never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever. BECAUSE I NEVER CHANGE.

NOT A FINGER

The other day in church, I was just sitting there, and I was looking at my index finger, and I was just moving it, moving each joint separately, one after the other, and I was struck by how crazy it all was. I swear, I wasn't high. I've never been high. But sometimes, I just feel like I'm high, because these random stupid things just suddently blow my mind. Isn't that what happens when you're high? I don't know, that's just what I've learned from TV and movies. Anywho, do it right now. Just stare at one of your fingers. Then just move each joint. One after the other. HOW are you doing that? How are you moving THIS joint, and then THIS joint, and then THIS one? Try to answer that question. YOU CAN'T.

Ears

One year ago, an army of streptococcus bacteria lay waste to my body and my left ear. The night that my ear was filling up with fluid, I was having weird fever dreams that Amy Poheler was driving a tractor around my bedroom. Sounds silly, but it was rather unpleasant, and actually felt incredibly real. I remember laying in bed, just staring at the wall, and there she was, just sitting on a tractor. I remember blinking my eyes, thinking, what the flip is happening. Where am I? And then the next morning, I was hit with some of the worst pain I've ever experienced, an unending awful throbbing in my left ear. Later in the day, my ear drum burst, which kind of released some of the pressure. But I couldn't hear anything. And my ear was leaking fluid 24/7. Took about another month before everything calmed down and my hearing started coming back.

I trust this email finds you well

Because that's how emails work. You write one, and then you send it out, and just hope it gets to the right place. "Go little email! Go! Go find Tom Johnson at HR!" "Woof!" says the email. Because the email is a dog. Or maybe it's a pigeon. I guess that makes more sense. They carry messages and stuff. Do they carry emails? They should. An email pigeon. Speaking of which, does anyone remember what it was like when you got your first email address? Wasn't it the coolest thing in the world? I thought it was. Me and my buddy would send each other emails, and then call each other right after and be like, "DID YOU GET MY EMAIL?" Boy, those were the days. I guess. We've already been over this, how those were The Days.