The turtle you see on the left is one that my companion and I found in my last area on my mission. We named him...CLAYTON. And then the zone leaders cooked him and ate him. What a cutie he is. He looks so happy.

I really like all those great Facebook ads where it says "Who's been searching for you?" and then it has a picture of some babe-a-licious scantily clad floozebag. Like, I always look at those pictures and say to myself, "Gosh, I hope THAT girl's been searching for me!" Because if some perfect stranger of a floozbag has been searching for me online, man, can things get ANY better? HOT DANG!

Hey guess what kids, I got MARRIED LAST WEEK! It was super special. Then we got to spend a week in Las Vegas, and we accidentally gambled away all of the money that people gave us for wedding presents. HEH HEH! Sorry! Those slot machines are just too fun, too colorful, and make too many cutesy wootsy fun noises to pass up. My favorite part about casinos, I decided, is the old people who can sit in front of those machines for hours, and no matter how much they ever seem to be winning, THEIR EMOTIONS NEVER CHANGE. THEY NEVER SHOW ANY EXCITEMENT. IN THE LEAST. I mean, come on, isn't winning money supposed to be the best thing in the world? Hmm.

As you can see, Emily is having a great time on the machines. You see, Emily and I are part of the "Mormon" religion, where we don't "gamble." Besides being a sin, I also find it extremely lame to throw away your money. Luckily, the casino, when we registered at the South Point Hotel, gave us TWENTY FIVE FREE DOLLARS/TOKENS TO USE ON SLOT MACHINES! So we went at it, and lo and behold, we won $9.61! Good thing it wasn't REAL money, otherwise, that would mean that we lost 16 dollars! HEH HEH! GAMBLING IS GREAT!

So anywho...here we are. We're married. Life is great. And there's this crazy guy who looks like Fidel Castro that comes into my work every day, and always spends at least $50, but apparently, doesn't have enough money to take care of his own teeth. If this blog is supposed to be about updating you on the latest news of Holden and Emily Green, well, I'm probably doing a pretty poor job. But I figured you wanted to hear about the Fidel Castro guy anyway.