Down the Windpipehole and Out the South Visitor Entrance

What would you like to hear about today?

Politics?

Religion?

Gustav Holst?

Lebron James' latest slam jam?

Well, you won't be hearing about any of these. In fact, what you will be hearing about will be a little more disturbing than any of those. It turns out... I'm going to recap my year and all the people who made it great, and all the music and movies that made it even greater.

Here are the best movies that came out in 2017:

1) Biff Jones and the Case of the Really Bad Keyboard Crumbs
2) Biff Jones 2: The Revenge
3) Biff Jones 3: Resurrection
4) Lord of the Hobbits: Bilbo's Adventures in the Bathroom
5) Death Dad 2: A Very Bad Dad Day
6) Karl Malone's Total Ab Workout

Here are the best albums that came out in 2017:

1) Jumping in Circles for 6 Straight Hours (by the Beatles)
2) The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos: Greatest Hits
3) Silence Your Jeeps (by the Hospital Gowns)
4) I Hate Boys (by Taylor Swift)
5) I Hate Everyone Else (by Taylor Swift)
6) Slam Jams (by Lebron James feat. Von Wafer)

Now, for the people that made the year great:

1) The entire country of Venezuela: These people are really great. Just great. You can head down there and ask them for anything, and they'll get it for you. Butter? They have it. Milk? They have it. Some sugar? They've got that too. They'll give you more than you need too. Just the sweetest most hospitable folks around.

Venezuela

The loving citizens of Venezuela

                                 

2) Ted Gazinski: Ted is seriously hilarious. He's always quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke. I had to have many smokes lit up this year, and Ted was always there to do it. Thanks Ted for all your help.

A shot of Ted, right before he helped someone.

3) The person that stole my backpack right out of my car: You're great. And I don't even know your name. We oughta change that. Let's get together this year and have drinks. I don't think I've ever met anyone nicer or more selfless in my life. Person who stole my backpack out of my car, here's to hoping that 2018 is even better!

Police sketch of the person who took
my backpack. 

4) Lebron James: This guy... this guy is da bomb! He can slam jam it so many times, it'll make your head spin like a basketball. He has truly proven himself to be the world's premier dunking sportsman! Lebron, thanks for all your slam jams!

Lebron "Harold" James

DUNK JAM!

           
Last one BUT I CAN’T FORGET MY FAM! They’re great. Love you fam!

Well, that's it! Thanks everyone! Happy 2008!