Rivers, Mine Only Begotten Son

So my wife and I are going to have a child. But she explains all this pretty well on her own blogs, so I won't go into it. His name is Rivers. Sometimes, my wife tells me that she feels him kicking. Then when I come to her to investigate, he stops. THE LITTLE CUSSER. He's a sneaky one. Right now, I'm at work, and I'm not supposed to be blogging, in fact, we're pretty much not supposed to do anything here (including sitting on the couch downstairs for some reason), but I'm a rebel. The end.