Hike of Utter Doom
I destroyed my body hiking a mountain.
Zealous to do a hike this week, I voted on the Red Mountain in Ivins, which I did a couple times back in high school. It was a bad idea. Or maybe it was the fact that I wore a black shirt. Or the fact that I only brought one bottle of water. Or the fact that I led the three of us (Beau, Isaac, me) up a strenous trail that none of us had done before. Or the fact that it was June 1st and that it was probably over 100 degrees outside.
I learned some valuable things from this expedition.
1) Fierce Strawberry flavored Gatorade tastes absolutely delicious after you have suffered from heat exhaustion bordering on a full-on heat stroke.
2) It hurts when you bash a toenail on a rock and it bleeds everywhere.
3) Apparently when your body temperature rises to dangerous levels, it messes with your brain, which is kind of a bad thing to have messed with.
4) Beau is always willing to drive your car in the event that the afore-mentioned heat exhaustion/ heat stroke has made you incapable of thinking straight and driving safely.
5) Nature is beautiful, just lovely, but when you're about to die, it doesn't really matter.
6) The Dos Equis guy who says, "Stay thirsty my friends" ? No. I'm warning you. "Stay hydrated."- Me.
Zealous to do a hike this week, I voted on the Red Mountain in Ivins, which I did a couple times back in high school. It was a bad idea. Or maybe it was the fact that I wore a black shirt. Or the fact that I only brought one bottle of water. Or the fact that I led the three of us (Beau, Isaac, me) up a strenous trail that none of us had done before. Or the fact that it was June 1st and that it was probably over 100 degrees outside.
I learned some valuable things from this expedition.
1) Fierce Strawberry flavored Gatorade tastes absolutely delicious after you have suffered from heat exhaustion bordering on a full-on heat stroke.
2) It hurts when you bash a toenail on a rock and it bleeds everywhere.
3) Apparently when your body temperature rises to dangerous levels, it messes with your brain, which is kind of a bad thing to have messed with.
4) Beau is always willing to drive your car in the event that the afore-mentioned heat exhaustion/ heat stroke has made you incapable of thinking straight and driving safely.
5) Nature is beautiful, just lovely, but when you're about to die, it doesn't really matter.
6) The Dos Equis guy who says, "Stay thirsty my friends" ? No. I'm warning you. "Stay hydrated."- Me.
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| The Red Mountain, so named because it resembles a mountain. |
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| That's a pretty face right there. |
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| A horny toad trying to blend in with its surroundings, but Beau spotted it. Good eye Beau. |
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| Gunsight Canyon, where the trail began. GUNSIGHT. |
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| The desert area north of the summit. |
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| Angry as usual. |
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| Having a feast atop the mount. |
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| Lichens. |
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| Aliens? The Giant Turtle of Wisdom? |
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| This guy can hike, wow. I'm pretty sure he never broke a sweat during the whole disaster. He kind of reminds me of a mountain goat, just scampering up the mountain with ease, clicking his hooves. |
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| Lovely view of landscape, ruined by me. |
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| "I LIKE PIE." |
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| More pretty views. |
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| Looking southeast towards St. Georgeopolis. |
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| Meandering around, trying to find out how in the crap to get down off the mountain. |
The end.
posted by HLR | June 02, 2012
2 Comments:
i have never hiked that mountain. i am lame.
i grew up right there next to it. perhaps i should've lived more.
even though you "destroyed" your body, i bet you're glad to say you got to the top!
It's okay that you never hiked it. There isn't much to see on top. There's a lot of dirt. And some rocks. Yay. Rocks.
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