Fish Tacos of Death

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Location: Hell, Michigan, United States

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Bridge

"Darla, will you please remove your feet from the bridge table?" asked Betty McJohnson, with a hint of anger in her voice. Darla did not budge.


"I will ask you one more time Darla," said Betty again. "Remove your feet from the bridge table please."

Darla was the crazy one of the bridge club. Well, they were all crazy. They were all over 80 years of age. There were five of them. Betty, Darla, Susan, Mary, and Imogene. But Darla was really the "crazy" one.

Darla finally removed her feet from the bridge table.

"Now," said Phyllis. "On with bridge club!"

"Bridge club unite!" yelled no one.

The game continued on, with trumps here, and tricks there, and all manner of bridgey things.

"Cheater!" yelled Darla, pointing her wrinkly old finger at Susan. Then she pulled out a gun.

"Whoa!" yelled Mary. "I believe we agreed on no guns at bridge club."

Darla pointed the gun at Mary. Then Betty. She was shaking.

"Just put the gun down," said Betty, her hands raised above her head. "Just put it down Darla."

Darla had fury in her eyes. Fury of never winning at bridge.

"I never get what I want!" she cried. "You guys always gang up on me!"

Imogene, thinking quick, overturned the table towards Darla, who cried out, and fired a shot into the ceiling. Then she went down, with the table crushing her to the floor. At last, Darla was dead.

The police arrived minutes later, as result of Susan pushing the button on her panic bracelet. "What happened here?" asked Officer Ted, surveying the devastation. Cards lay everywhere. Then he spotted the body.

"Dear gosh," he said. Darla lay lifeless on the floor with cards in her mouth. "This was a bridge game gone too far," he remarked, and everyone laughed. Everyone...except Officer Ted.

"Get her outta here," he yelled to nobody in particular.

After Darla's body was removed and the mess cleaned up, the four seniors sat down and resumed.

"On with bridge club!" shouted Betty.

On with bridge club.

Indeed.

The end



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