Randall's Wild Adventures in the Town Where He Resides

[writing prompt] You start training to run a marathon. Things are going well and you’ve developed a route that you like to run. One day you notice someone peeking out the window of one of the houses you pass, though you think nothing of it. But then the next day the peeper is back again. And the next day. Finally you decide to confront the peeper and knock on the door. But when the door opens, you are shocked to find out it’s someone from your past—who you thought was dead.

"Harry?!" I cry out in amazement. "Harry Jensen?! You're alive?"

"No," replies Harry, who I last saw sometime yesterday afternoon, and then he just kind of... disappeared. Well, we were just at my apartment, having a beer, and then he said he needed to go home. And so he did. And I never saw him again. Until now. At his house. "And neither are you."

"Whaaaa???" I say, as this new shocking revelation begins to sink in. Me? Dead? Preposterous! But deep down, deep inside my ascending colon and about halfway through my sigmoid colon, I know the truth. 

"Think about it Randall," says Harry, in that style in which Harry often says things. "All along, you've known this. All along, no one in your entire life has noticed you or said anything to you. No one has ever associated with you in any manner."

Part of me wants to shout at him NO! No no no no! That's impossible! 

"But what about that girl I took out on a date last week?" I reply. "You know, Stacy Hutchinson! I thought we had a really good time!"

Harry smiles, lowers his eyes to the ground, and shakes his head. 

"Randall, Randall, Randall," he says. "Didn't you notice that she was actually talking to another man the entire date? I know it sounds crazy... but there was another guy, right behind you, the whole date. I know the guy, he works down at Lipperman Draperies, a real nice guy. But you only thought she was on date with you. She was actually on a date with him!" 

"Okay, well, what about that job interview I went to a few days ago?" I reply. "I was the only one in the room there besides CEO Jimmy McBranahan! We had a conversation! He asked me about my family, about my past experience, really specific things actually. You're not telling me there's some crazy explanation for that, are you?"

"Oh, there's definitely an explanation!" replies Harry, and he immediately reaches up and pulls off his face, revealing... no... it couldn't be... 

"CEO Jimmy McBranahan?!" I cry. 

"Yes, Randall," he says, and puts his hand upon my shoulder, giving it one nice squeeze. "It was me all along."

"Boy, this is one crazy turn of events!" I yell. "Well, better finish my marathon training!"

"Yes," he replies, with a twinkle of his eye and a tip of his hat. Hey, where did he get that hat anyway? "Go forth Randall. Finish your marathon training. Then we'll get coffee."

"Oh boy!" I cry, and I'm actually crying this time, tears of the most intense joy, because... well... coffee?! With CEO Jimmy McBranahan? None of my marathon friends are gonna believe this! 

The End