The Island

There it was, finally. Our island. Our very own island. It looked beautiful above the waves of fog, but there was still one question to be answered: why had they sold it to us for only five dollars?

"Well, we better get down there and check it out," I said to my hot wife Stacy Jones. So I took her down. And when I say "took her down," I mean the plane. And my wife, because she was in it. So you see, it could refer to either one. Our plane was a nice plane, with wings and bolts and spinny parts that made plane sounds. But all of that meant nothing as the plane crashed through the top of the forest canopy and hit the ground, exploding into a million pieces.
"Well, I thought there was a runway somewhere around here," I said after we crawled out of the flaming wreckage. We were both bruised up and scratched, and my face had been severely disfigured from third degree burns, but we were all right. I turned around and looked at the wreckage. My plane. My baby. I shed a tear.
"It's okay honey," said Stacy Jones, wrapping her arms around me and licking my tears. "We'll get a new plane someday." Then we made out. But we kept it pretty clean.
Finally, after our making out session ended, we looked around. Trees. Everywhere. In all directions.
"Great," I said. "We're lost. Now what?"
And then I heard my answer.
"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECCCHHHH!!!" came the screech of some sort of woodland jungle alien creature as it flew out of the trees and latched onto my face. I writhed around in agony as the creature sank its fangs into my eyeballs. Stacy backed away in horror... I think. Because I couldn't see her, and it was kind of chaotic. But I imagine she might do that.
Finally, after some effort, I pried the thing off my face and flung it to the ground.
"That's the last time I pay five bucks for an island!" I cried, and then Stacy and I laughed.

The end