Fish Tacos of Death

"Perch ye on this bed of crumbs." -- The CrumbMaster

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Location: Hell, Michigan, United States

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Sunday, June 26, 2016

A Gigantic List of Random Memories

I wrote this list in my journal, really on a whim. Let's take a journey through my brain's temporal lobe and see what memories I can just pull out.

Do not overanalyze this list. These memories are not listed in any order of importance or priority.

Good memory: Playing "Deafening Darkness" at the Gish house in high school. This game was basically hide-and-seek, with one person as "it" and having to find everyone else. The "it" person had to wear noise-canceling head phones and sunglasses, with the lights out.

Bad memory: 5th grade, Doug Schmutz telling me all the other kids in class have told him not to play with me because I'm a freak.

Good memory: Emily and I holding hands for the first time at St. George Town Square.

Bad memory: Any time spent at the swimming merit badge in 1999 at Sand Hollow Aquatic Center (I was a terrible swimmer). A guy who looked like John Ritter was the instructor.

Good memory: Writing "Justice Adventures" with Kenner at my house in high school.

Bad memory: Hitting Isaac in the face for some reason at Ariane's house and then storming out and walking through a rainstorm.

Good memory: Jamming together with Isaac and David in high school trying to play either "Piano Man" or "Don't Panic."

Bad memory: Finding out Rivers, in utero, had CDH.

Good memory: Rivers being born.

Bad memory: Hitting Heidi Bringhurst with a Bruce Lee VHS tape, in high school.

Good memory: Sundiata Gaines hitting a buzzer-beating 3 pointer to beat the Cleveland Cavaliers, and then Steve breaking our chair in excitement.

Bad memory: Alesha Christensen, in 6th grade, telling me how her friend Jodie Green saw my picture in the yearbook, and thought I was the ugliest person she had ever seen.

Good memory: Recording Beau's immortal phrase "No. I'll throw it away for myself."on my Pocket PC at Chris's house in 10th grade.

Bad memory: Slapping David Bartlett in the face.

                     Yes, I realize I have many memories of hitting people. I don't like these memories. Although they are kinda funny in hindsight, they just remind me of the angry young man I used to be and all the amygdala hijacks I used to have [Amygdala hijack: a term I learned reading a book entitled "Emotional Intelligence" that refers to your brain's frontal lobe (the center of judgement and inhibition) losing control and ceding this control to your amygdala, resulting in a fight-or-flight response].

Good memory: The filming of "Murder Mansion" on January 1st, 2003 (and everything else that came from that first rendezvous of new friends).

Bad memory: Everything associated  with the filming of my senior class president video in 11th grade. Everything. What an awful film. No wonder I didn't win.

Good memory: Playing Final Fantasy 6 during summer 2004 with Steve and Isaac.

Bad memory: Continuing with the last bad memory, the Exec Council Interview during my senior class president campaign.

Good memory: Putting on the shirt I'm currently wearing earlier this morning (an American Eagle polo) and realizing how nice it fit me.

Bad memory: Punching Chris on the top of his head in 10th grade and the resulting painful sensation that had me thinking I broke my hand. (That's Hitting Memory #4)

Good memory: The day I tried the "Turkey Cheddar Jalapeno" soup at Harmon's... like, three weeks ago. Man, it was good! Holy cow!

Bad memory: Cameron Call getting hit by a car.

Good memory: Cameron Call ending up being all right after getting hit by a car.

Bad memory: Some girl (a married girl in her 20s) in one of my wards on my mission, telling me that I am "very awkward when I talk to people."

Good memory: A lady attempting to cast Elder Call and I out of her driveway in the name of Jesus by raising her arm to the square (obviously, I am thinking through my mission at the moment).

Bad memory: Elder Walker and I getting our faces bashed in (metaphorically) by an angry British guy.

Good memory: Giving a priesthood blessing to Jericho Messer, 2-year-old son of a very nice gentleman we met named Kevin, in Shelbyville, TN.

Bad memory: The moment in November 2008 when I learned that my very first baptism left the church.

Good memory: Getting up on waterskis for the first time.

Bad memory: Botching musical number on the piano at my brother Sheridan's mission farewell.

Good memory: Friends singing "How Great Thou Art" at my mission farewell.

Bad memory: Ambushing random kids on the playground with supersoakers with Nick Austen in either 1st or 2nd grade. Why is this a bad memory? It actually sound really fun, right? Well, at the time, it was, in a real demented twisted sort of way, like any memory involving Nick Austen. But I'm ashamed of the mean kid I was whenever I was with him.

Good memory: Talking to Isaac through the schoolyard fence in 1st grade. For some reason, he always had ketchup and mustard stains on his face. This is my first memory of Isaac the Gish.

Bad memory: The end of Christmas break (more specifically, the first morning back) in 6th grade, feeling, seriously feeling, that Matt Matthison was going to bring a gun to school and carry out a mass shooting and that I was going to die. Man that kid was a psycho.

Good memory: Finding out I passed Chemistry I. On that same note, finding out I passed Chemistry II.

Bad memory: The day in middle school when I found out I had not made the cut to be on the "Fresh Trash" squad, you know, that dorky little percussion ensemble with the garbage cans. Also, the day in middle school when I found out I had not made the cut to play the quad toms in marching band. At some point though, I did end up playing both of these things. So no harm done, right? Although I was very very very angry at Master, I mean, Mr. Bateman.

Good memory: Isaac, Beau, and I running around Isaac's house for hours shooting each other with an airsoft gun. Yes, one airsoft gun.

Bad memory: Getting pulled over and ticketed by Officer Grumpy McGrump on January 30th, 2006, for rolling through a stop sign. Aw, first ticket!

Good memory: 9th grade luau at Sand Hollow Aquatic and eating a Goldhart hamburger that made me sick (so called because it was cooked by Principal Goldhart). Yes, I know being sick should not go in the good memory list. But it was pretty funny. By the way, does anyone else remember Principal Goldhart's Words of Wisdom from the daily announcements in middle school? That Goldhart, he was pretty inspiring.

Bad memory: Probably slapping Nick or Sheridan in the face multiple times. Or is that a good memory? By the way, my brother Nick just reminded me a few weeks ago that I slapped him in the face the day I got my mission call. I don't even recall. All these slappings just blend together.

Good memory: Throwing macaroni salad (or was it tuna casserole?) at Ben's face.

Bad memory: Getting rebuked by President Lords for being a crappy missionary in Murfreesboro, TN.

Good memory: Playing in the snow with Emily, sometime in December 2008, when we had just started dating.

Bad memory: Getting rebuked by President Lords for still being a crappy missionary, in Shelbyville, TN.

Good memory: Surprise birthday party in 2006, involving Isaac taking me to Wal-Mart to buy me a present, and then coming home and not finding it odd that Kerrah Kelly was at my house, not finding it odd that there were snacks and beverages everywhere, and not finding it odd that Kerrah wanted to go downstairs and play foosball. SURPRISE!!!!

Bad memory: Combined memories of all experiences in high school being rejected by girls I liked.

Good memory: First kiss with Emily atop airport hill.

Bad memory: Slapping Eric Gibson after Angel's Landing hike, June 10th, 2006, not long after I spit on Ariane's backpack from atop a bridge. (I've lost track of which "slapping" this is.) This was a bad amygdala hijack.

Good memory: Running through sprinklers as a regular summertime activity when I was younger. Oh, dear summer.

Bad memory: Losing to Cody Stewart in 6th grade talent show. Apparently, 6th graders prefer Blink 182 to Ludwig Beethoven. Imagine that!

Good memory: The day in summer 2000 when Brady Pallas helped populate my MSN Messenger contact list with actual people and gave me the opportunity to make friends.

Bad memory: The time in 7th grade Home Economics class when Amanda Leal and Kristen Edwards mocked me and bulled me during a cooking course.

Good memory: All times spent at Emily's Aunt Susan's house in San Diego, first of all because of how nice the Wilcox's are, but also because of HOW GOOD THEIR HOUSE SMELLS. HOLY COW.

Bad memory: The time I wrote a mean thing about my mom on the computer and she found it (I forgot the time with this, likely pre-teen to early teenage years).

Good memory: Going to Santa Clara Merc with Nick on Saturdays as a youngliing to buy candy. On that same note, the day I was running down the hill behind our house and I fell face first into a thorn bush, and then Nick pulled me out and we just laughed. HEH! THORN PAIN!

Bad memory: The Jazz losing to the Blazers in the 2000 NBA playoffs 4-1, and Hornacek retiring, also me crying a lot. I suppose anytime the Jazz lost, but I think this is the only time I ever cried.

Good memory: Running 6 minute mile in 7th grade P.E.

Bad memory: Failing to catch football multiple times in 8th grade P.E. and getting yelled at by Lee Erickson.

Good memory: Playing "Flying Pen of Death" with Justin Olsen and Jeff Knowlton during 11th grade pre-calculus class.

Bad memory: Throwing tantrum after dying in game of "BANG!" at Isaac's house about 3 years ago. This was the last time I ever threw a tantrum over a game. I was embarrassed after this and vowed to "mellow out," which I have done a pretty good job with ever since.

And ending on a good note.

Good memory: The day Emily and Rivers came home from Salt Lake.












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