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Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Take These Broken Spleens

I made a list.

These are all things (mostly music) that remind me, in some way, of my mission, or of the months directly preceding or following.

Pre-Mission (mainly summer 2006)

Anything from Radiohead's Kid A album
Anything from Radiohead's The Bends album
(more specifically, songs from those albums remind me of driving to/from work at Dixie Nutrition during the summer of 2006).

Getting closer to mission (weeks and days before- "The Presence of Impending Doom")

"How to Save a Life" by The Fray
"Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche
Anything from Jeff Buckley's Grace album
Anything from Death Cab for Cutie's Plans album (especially Brothers on a Hotel Bed)

On my way to the MTC (October 18th, 2006)

Mormon Tabernacle Choir songs - "Homeward Bound" "Suo-Gan" & "All Through the Night"

First area )Hendersonville, TN)

"Nashville Tribute to the Prophet" album
"Float" album by Bell and Cardiff
"Garden Walls" by Mindy Gledhill
The smell of golden honey flavor handsoap (which I believe we had in the bathroom)
The cologne that Elder Call wore (don't remember what it's called... but I know it when I smell it).
"Believe" by Josh Groban (first Christmas out)
"I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" by Bing Crosby (first Christmas out)

Murfreesboro, TN

"I Feel My Savior's Love" by Jessie Clark Funk

Shelbyville, TN

Enya songs from A Day Without Rain album

Bowling Green, KY

Mannheim Steamroller Christmas music

Lawrenceburg, TN

Music from Colby Horton mix, including a lovely rendition of "Amazing Grace."
Music from Mindy Gledhill albums- "Sum of All Grace" & "Falling and Flying"
"Now We Are Free" from Gladiator soundtrack
"I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go" by Mormon Tabernacle Choir (generally when driving to Pulaski, TN)

Post Mission Days

Music from Super Mario Galaxy
Music from Cave Story

What made all these "musics" and other things stick? Would I, at any other time in my life, have found the song "Silent Lucidity" to be that memorable when I heard it? Or would it just have been another tune that I I quickly forgot? What was it about having this impending anxiety of a coming mission that caused these things to stick in my brain? And not just stick in my brain, but to be actual instant reminders of a time and a place, and the exact emotions I felt at the time? Why does Josh Groban's "Believe" stick in my mind so much and remind me of my first Christmastime out? Why does the smell of golden honey handsoap instantly transport me back to my first apartment? There's nothing special about golden honey handsoap, is there? Because the smell carries the emotions. The song carries the emotions. What emotions? In the beginning, fear. Loneliness. Homesickness (especially during the first Christmas). Anxiety about what lay ahead. All these emotions magnified to an especially intense degree. Later on, music that drew me inward and gave me reason to reflect on the mission of Christ and the vast humbling opportunity of sharing the gospel and having stewardship over an area. Music that, in post-mission days, brings to mind the weird feeling of returning to society and engaging in all the childish garbage that was withheld from me on the mission, like vidiot games.

Well, that's all. This probably hasn't been too exciting, so I'm sorry.

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