The Sportsball Tournament of Champions World Finals
Right away in this game, you realize how outmatched your team really is. "Look at the size of those guys!" shouts Billy Corgan. "Arf arf!" you bark, which translates to, "Look at the size of Kutyakov Vladislovovich!" He looks only somewhat like a papillon and more like what a papillon would look like if it had been infected with one of those viruses from all those dumb movies where the virus turns you into a hulking massive hellbeast whose only instinct is to kill and drink the blood of your enemies. BUT THIS IS NO MOVIE, JENKINS.
In the first four innings your team goes down 63-12, with Kuty the Impaler delivering 21 3-pointers from the 50-yard-line and severely disfiguring several of your players faces. It's really looking like the loss of Tommy Jefferson at pitcher is really hurting the team, among other things. Jimmy McDermott just doesn't have the arm that Tommy does. Or the leg. Or the other arm and the other leg. Or the head. Or the pelvis.
Coach Phil Jackson whistles for a timeout and a team huddle.
"All right! Corgan, you're in at quarterback! Thompson, let's see you smack some of those guys around at punter! Floogerman, you're forward! And Jenkins..."
He turns to you.
"You're pitchin! GET IN THERE AND WIN US THIS GAME."
The team gasps.
"But Coach, we've never had a dog pitch before. This is suicide!" says Randy McFlenderson.
"I'll tell you what's suicide," Coach Phil Jackson replies. "What you should all be doing if you lose this game!"
"YEAH!!!" shouts the team in unison. TEAM UNITY!
Proceed to Inning 5 http://fishtacosofdeath.blogspot.com/2017/10/inning-5.html
In the first four innings your team goes down 63-12, with Kuty the Impaler delivering 21 3-pointers from the 50-yard-line and severely disfiguring several of your players faces. It's really looking like the loss of Tommy Jefferson at pitcher is really hurting the team, among other things. Jimmy McDermott just doesn't have the arm that Tommy does. Or the leg. Or the other arm and the other leg. Or the head. Or the pelvis.
Coach Phil Jackson whistles for a timeout and a team huddle.
"All right! Corgan, you're in at quarterback! Thompson, let's see you smack some of those guys around at punter! Floogerman, you're forward! And Jenkins..."
He turns to you.
"You're pitchin! GET IN THERE AND WIN US THIS GAME."
The team gasps.
"But Coach, we've never had a dog pitch before. This is suicide!" says Randy McFlenderson.
"I'll tell you what's suicide," Coach Phil Jackson replies. "What you should all be doing if you lose this game!"
"YEAH!!!" shouts the team in unison. TEAM UNITY!
Proceed to Inning 5 http://fishtacosofdeath.blogspot.com/2017/10/inning-5.html
posted by HLR | October 17, 2017
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