You throw a speed football to the left.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what Kuty the Impaler knew you were going to do, as soon as you barked "ARF ARF ARF ARF!" or "HEY RALPH, I'M GONNA THROW A SPEED FOOTBALL TO THE LEFT!" You see, he's also a papillon, and can understand your barking, even if he is from Soviet Russia. He swings his hockey stick and smashes the ball so hard it explodes into a million pieces of leathery pigskin. Then he begins to eat the pieces.

"HOME RUN!" yells the ref, and awards the Butterpops 1,000 points. You think you can come back from this?

1) Yes http://fishtacosofdeath.blogspot.com/2017/10/i-know-we-can-come-back-from-this.html
2) No http://fishtacosofdeath.blogspot.com/2017/10/we-cant-come-back-from-this.html