Fish Tacos of Death

"Perch ye on this bed of crumbs." -- The CrumbMaster

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Location: Hell, Michigan, United States

I like birds

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Great International Celebrities, Episode 3- And Various Other Adventures

 

do applewhite

Marshall “Do” Applewhite- Charismatic leader of the Heaven’s Gate that committed mass suicide several years ago in order to hop a ride on the Hale Bop Comet. Looks like a happy happy guy.

 

In other news, a new yogurt place has opened up RIGHT ACROSS THE STINKING STREET from Dixie Nutrition, called “Krayogurtve”. I am gonna give Krave kredit (waha good one Green), a million toppings (plus about 12 yogurt flavors) kind of seals the deal for me, especially…get this…KAPTAIN KRUNCH! Plain tart yogurt with Kaptain Krunch pieces on top is about the best thing in the world. Sounds weird, but it’s true.  Sadly, it’s quite expensive, I’m paying $1.50 at Krave for a small (4 ounces), compared to $1.00 at Dixie Nut. Is it worth it? Only you can decide. And me, I guess. I just haven’t decided yet. Heh! If they had planned on putting us out of business, well, screw that, we barely make any profit on our yogurt in the first place. Maybe if they sold Oatscream, Tofu Hot Dogs, Meatless Chicken Nuggets, and really mysterious Chinese products that have “deer penis” as an ingredient, they might have a chance at driving us out. But don’t let them hear that, or they might just start putting those things in their yogurt. Heh heh! EWW!

Oh, and their website is wrong. Tart yogurt is not unique to Krave. Dixie Nutrition actually started it 40 years ago. SUCKAS!

See? I don’t even know who I’m rooting for.

4 Comments:

Blogger Rachael said...

You are entertaining Holden. I'll have to try this new place when I come back to town in a few weeks.

September 23, 2009 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger tifsong said...

I am rooting for Krave. i really am. i've been there... 5 times in a week. :) can we still be friends?

September 25, 2009 at 2:30 PM  
Blogger HLR said...

I'm sure you'll be back to Dixie Nutrition someday, i.e. when you run out of money from going to Krave so much, or when Krave goes out of business, whichever comes first.

September 30, 2009 at 6:54 AM  
Blogger Elliot Lockwood said...

oh wait, the Dix Nut doesn't serve oatscream anymore either...

and how did the deer penis Chinese product become so well known? it is a tale told far and abroad, perhaps what Dix Nut is best known for in a strange underground counter-culture

October 2, 2009 at 10:46 PM  

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