Guy With a Gun

It's three O'clock one afternoon
and I'm polishing some boots.
A Czech walks by and asks me
if I'll buy some roasted newts.

"No way!" I say. "I'm allergic
to the gluten in those newts!"

He takes this well, at least I think.
He begins to walk away.

And then, what gives, he brandishes
a gun that he named...Jay?

That crazy Czech! He's done it again!
Does he really think he'll win?

"He's GOT A GUN!!!" shouts security.
as everybody hits the floor.

And screams are heard, cries of distress,
I think some guy just swore.

It's all my fault, according to Vladimir Putin
I shouldn't have insulted his gluten.