MOST RANDOM STORY EVER
It was one of those days. You know, where the sun is shining brightly upon you, warming you with its gentle rays of love, and then for some reason, it's raining at the exact same time.
"Just one of those days," said Carl. He was wandering the streets of St. George, aimlessly, since his car had just broken down only days before. Then, outside Steve's Tire and Oil on 600 East, he saw a girl walking who he thought he knew, and then he realized that that was because she looked like a character from 7th Heaven. And then he realized how embarrassing it would be to tell anybody that he used to watch that show.
He suddenly forgot that he was still staring at that girl, until somebody tapped on his shoulder. Turning around, he stood face to face with a hick.
"You stop lookin at my girlfriend!" said the hick, pointing his finger into Carl's face. "I sawed you lookin at 'er!"
"Oh, my mistake," said Carl. "She looked like someone I knew, but then I realized she just looks like somebody from TV."
Suddenly, the Rapture happened, and both the hick and his girlfriend disappeared. A car without a driver veered off of St. George Boulevard and struck Carl, knocking him to the ground. Fortunately, the car had only been going 5 miles an hour because it was one of many old people who frequently drive up and down the city's busy roads at extremely slow speeds. It doesn't matter though, because the old person went to heaven.
Carl, however, did not. He was left behind.
Therefore, there can be no further story, since Carl had nothing to live for. If he wasn't raptured, well, by golly, God didn't like him, so what was the point of doing anything remotely interesting that would make for a good story? He pondered this heavily, and then eventually walked home, where he lived out his days watching Spike TV and eating his endless food storage supply of tomato paste.
"Just one of those days," said Carl. He was wandering the streets of St. George, aimlessly, since his car had just broken down only days before. Then, outside Steve's Tire and Oil on 600 East, he saw a girl walking who he thought he knew, and then he realized that that was because she looked like a character from 7th Heaven. And then he realized how embarrassing it would be to tell anybody that he used to watch that show.
He suddenly forgot that he was still staring at that girl, until somebody tapped on his shoulder. Turning around, he stood face to face with a hick.
"You stop lookin at my girlfriend!" said the hick, pointing his finger into Carl's face. "I sawed you lookin at 'er!"
"Oh, my mistake," said Carl. "She looked like someone I knew, but then I realized she just looks like somebody from TV."
Suddenly, the Rapture happened, and both the hick and his girlfriend disappeared. A car without a driver veered off of St. George Boulevard and struck Carl, knocking him to the ground. Fortunately, the car had only been going 5 miles an hour because it was one of many old people who frequently drive up and down the city's busy roads at extremely slow speeds. It doesn't matter though, because the old person went to heaven.
Carl, however, did not. He was left behind.
Therefore, there can be no further story, since Carl had nothing to live for. If he wasn't raptured, well, by golly, God didn't like him, so what was the point of doing anything remotely interesting that would make for a good story? He pondered this heavily, and then eventually walked home, where he lived out his days watching Spike TV and eating his endless food storage supply of tomato paste.
The End
posted by HLR | October 06, 2011
1 Comments:
hahaha new favorite.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home