Horkman's Middle-Class Class In the Most Classless Middle Class In Town

If you could pick one day to go back in time to and do it all again, what day would you pick? I would pick yesterday and leave on the hike about 2 hours earlier so we could trek further up the canyon. Or I would pick that day at work where I dropped a patient, and redo it so I didn't drop the patient. Or I would pick that day in physical therapy school where my classmates mocked me for the bizarre way that I cook my cup noodles, and redo it by bringing a peanut butter sandwich instead. No one can mock me over a peanut butter sandwich. Or I would pick the day in 6th grade that we did a talent show competition, and instead of playing "Fur Elise" on the piano, I would sing "Raining Blood" by Slayer, and totally blow Cody Stewart's little Blink 182 song out of the water. Then everything would be different, and everyone would respect me. Or I would pick the day in 4th grade that I stole 20 "Cougar Bucks" out of Mr. Dunkley's desk, and I would steal like, 1000 Cougar Bucks instead and go buy myself 50 bags of hot fries and 100 Slim Jims and then invite all my friends over (all two of them), and we would just feast on hot fries and Slim Jims and talk about the old days, talk about when life was simple and free. Ah, simple and free. Just you and me. Simple and free. BABY YOU'RE EVERYTHING, I'VE EVER DREAMED OF, YEAAHH YEAHHH. Or, just so you don't think I'm wanting to go back and do everything bad, I would pick the day in 4th grade that I stole a Giga Pet out of Jessica Thorn's desk so I could take it home and smash it to pieces with a hammer, and I would not steal the Giga Pet out of her desk. In fact, maybe I could put something in there, like an M&M. Or a love note. Or another Giga Pet that I stole out of someone else's desk.

That... that right there. That would change everything.

Everything.