A Bucket of Hollondaise Sauce

1) I changed my blog template because I was way bored. And then I decided I had to write about it. For some reason.

2) Hey, guess what? I had the craziest eye floater yesterday! THE CRAZIEST! I was laying on the couch, and there was this little speck in my vision. It would turn white when I closed my eyes, and it was black when my eyes were open. Now, it isn't rare to have these little funny friends floating in my eye. The weird thing was, first of all, this floater would not go away, and second, after a little while, it was completely visible when my eyes were open. What I mean by that... I was looking up at the ceiling, and the floater looked like a plain black mark on the ceiling. Visible as anything I had ever seen. It didn't even look like an eye floater. It just looked like a black smudge on the ceiling. It was actually quite frightening, as I was giving a play-by-play to my wife as to what was going on, and she thought I was dying (you know, the whole "don't go to the light" thing). So, was this story interesting? Huh? Huh? I see that this blog receives a multitude of visitors a day, many from foreign lands. Who are you people? Leave comments, ask me a question. Tell me if this was a stupid story.



Wind! And willows!



A plot! To kill that guy!

 3) So I have this problem with checking books out at the library and then not reading them. I usually bring them to work with me, hoping to read them at some point, but then I get distracted doing stupid things on the internet, like trying to figure out ways to entertain my mysterious blog audience. Right now, I'm supposed to be reading the Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graheme, which is kind of a sharp contrast from the last book I tried to read, The Plot To Kill The President. Boy was it a great plot.    

  

Prepare for hijinks and shenanignans like
you've never known!



 4) Hey, does anyone remember Three's Company, that stupid 70s sitcom starring John Ritter? I used to watch it. And I was like... eight. I think I have problems.  Now I'm just being desperate to fill this page up with something. I was feeling inspired 20 minutes ago, but then I ate a peanut butter sandwich. My pants have a hole in them. I'm wearing flip-flops at work. I'm not supposed to be wearing flip-flops That's a dress-code violation. But it just takes me too long at home to find socks.  

 

5) Does anyone do diet cleanses? Well, don't. Because apparently they're stupid and only hurt you. Why would you want to hurt yourself? What would possess you to do that? Satan? The love of a princess? Well, according to a podcast I listened to, it's all just a big scam. Your body is not really brimming with toxins, as the diet cleanse people think it is. And if there are toxins in your body, your body will remove them, via peeing and pooping. 

   

Angry because all kids want to do is

play video games!



6) Does anyone goes on crazy IMDB binges? Well, I don't know what that means, but I was doing that for The Neverending Story the other day. Anyone remember that movie? Aw yeah. Who else thought that Mr. Coriander was the scariest person in that movie? Remember? The mean bookshop guy? "GET OUTTA HERE! I DON'T LIKE KIDS!" I can see myself as that guy in 50 years.