How Bill Became a Law

There was a guy named Bill. He was very prestigious. One day, he was made into a law. He liked this for awhile, but then it got kind of boring, just sitting there, being a law. He also forgot to tell his wife and children about this happening, and they wondered where he went and what happened to him. They grieved over his disappearance, but it didn’t matter. In time, they overcame their grief. His kids began to do better in school. His wife, though depressed for a time, got back into the routine of wifeliness.

One day, a burglar broke into their home. He realized that the TV was too big to steal, so he just broke a framed picture of Bill and his wife and then left. When Bill’s wife saw the picture with the crack in it, it was too much. She fell to the floor and wept bitterly. She would’ve rather had the thief steal the TV, the video games, the refrigerator, even the family cat…but this? Crack a framed sentimental picture? What sort of monster would do such a thing? “A burglar, that’s what,” she answered to herself through her tears. Only a burglar would crack the glass of a framed sentimental picture for no reason at all, other than to say, “I have burglarized this house, and left my mark via sentimental picture cracking.”

Bill, watching from above (for the law is above us all), wept for his family in their time of trial. “Oh dear wife,” he said to himself. “How I love thee.”

The end

Questions for family discussion (only to be discussed as a loving family unit):

1) How exactly did Bill become a law? Do you think the author properly explained the process of transmutation as it relates to humans turning into law? Do you think the author cares what you think? Explain.

2) Have you ever been the victim of burglary/sentimental picture cracking? How did you react?

3) Have you ever burglarized someone and cracked a sentimental framed picture? You scumbag. 

4) If everyone knew about the placebo effect, then there would, essentially, be no placebo effect right? RIGHT?!

5) Is it possible that the burglar was actually Mr. Baldwin, the creepy old man next door who's always spying on Bill's family? Because a younger burglar would be able to lift that TV right? What kind of TV are we talking about here? A little teeny one? A Zenith? A 70 inch plasma screen? Only you can decide. And decide wisely. Because Mr. Baldwin's fate is in your hands.