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Oh, spleens! Right now, my bowels are making weird sounds. They sound like this... "BWWEERRRRR" and "BWOOP" and various other similar sound bites. What do your bowels sound like?

A good idea for a humorous article would be about a guy who thinks that everything he does as a hobby is a "lost art." Even if lots of other people do it. Like... say... rebuilding cars. Or painting. Or playing the guitar. He just feels like he's the most unique person because he does something that not everybody does. Funny idea, right? RIGHT?!?!?! OH PLEASE TELL ME IT'S A FUNNY IDEA.