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Sunday, March 27, 2016

Nighttime in the Tunnel

Rivers and I went on a walk together the other night. We often do this. I chronicled our journey with some photos.

A really weird jet contrail. LOOK AT IT. IT'S WEIRD.

We found this on the ground. I didn't have the willpower
to take it home and listen to it. I'm sorry Flex. Maybe next time.

Riba G!

Riba G!

Rivers correctly identified this straw wrapper
as a "9." 

Rivers: "Stop sign!"

Rivers: "A circle!"

Here, we have arrived at the Trail of Death, so
called because it resembles a trail.

In front of the Tunnel of Doom! #TUNNELOFDOOM

Rivers peers into the void of the Tunnel of Doom.
He likes to ask if it's nighttime in the tunnel.

Rivers' favorite stop sign in the world, for some
reason, at the corner of 540 N. and Dixie Drive.

In other news... there was this old guy in the Gospel Doctrine class at church today who must've thought he was at a comedy club or something. Every time the teacher said something that was even remotely funny, this old guy would laugh SO LOUD and clap a couple times. I found it humorous, in a humorous sort of way. You know the particular way? Well, that way.

I can't think of anything else funny right now. I'm sorry. Normally my mind is brimming with silly things. Did anything else funny happen this week? Guys, help me out. Something funny must've happened.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Thirty Somethings in Uncle Bob's Driveway

I have a mental conversation going in my head all day, especially at work. It would be more accurate to describe it as commentary to the conversations I am having with co-workers and with patients. 

She just did a fake laugh.
She did another fake laugh. She doesn't think you're that funny. 
You just said that line to him to build yourself up and cast blame on everyone else. No sincerity. 
That line was funny. Good work. 

See? It's not all negative. Sometimes, there's praise. WHO IS TALKING TO ME? 

In other news... I was going to go on some sort of rant. Should I? Well, it's not really a rant. I was remembering today a video I watched on YouTube a few years ago, one in which CNN's Anderson Cooper was interviewing a Texas Baptist pastor named Pastor Jeffress. The reason was that Pastor Jeffress had said some derogatory things about the Mormon church, due to Mitt Romney's running for president around that time. Anderson Cooper was talking to this guy, who felt like the Mormon church is a "cult," and we should all vote for Rick Santorum (or was it Huckabee?), blah blah blah. It was kind of funny to watch, because Anderson Cooper, who may or may not be partial to Mormons, used the pastor's logic against him and just destroyed him, and made this guy admit that pretty much anybody who doesn't believe the same as him is part of a "cult," and there's no reason to single out Mormons. Everyone who isn't part of this pastor's church is part of a cult. Really just made this pastor look like an idiot. I remember liking the interview and found it satisfying, because I do not enjoy people making insults about my beliefs. I remember talking about this video at work with an atheist co-worker of mine, and he also found it hilarious, but in a slightly different way. To him, the humor lies in the fact that a leader of one church is tearing down another church, when all religions are complete baloney anyway. Although he and I disagree about that last statement, he was happy to see Anderson Cooper demolish this guy with his own crappy logic. 

What was my point in relating all this? I don't remember now. I was probably going to rant about something. Because we all need a good ol' fashioned Holden rant every once in awhile, right? But just an ol' fashioned one though. None of these new "modern" type rants. In all honesty, I hate rants. I usually write out some sort of rant, and then I realize how illogical and crappy it is, so then I erase it, and write out something funny. Because funny things are way better. Why complain about something you have no control over, when you can just say something HILLLAAAAARIOUS? Like, get this... What kind of underwear does a lawyer wear? Wait for it, wait for it... HANES. Wait a minute, that's not the punchline. What's the real punchline? That's like an anti-punchline. And "Anti-Punchline" is a great name for a band. And that's the moral of this story. Good night.