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Friday, November 5, 2010

Where's My Xylophone?!

So I see that some of you who view this blog are from various locales around the earth, namely, Russia, Spain, South Korea, Lebanon, and Malta (where the heck is Malta? I thought that was some sort of beverage). I would appreciate it if you international folk would leave comments or something, so I know what's going on, and so I can understand why my blog has some sort of international appeal. Or unappeal (is that a word?) if you actually hate it. Come on. Let's be friends. And we'll beat this enemy called "college football" together.

I'm sitting at the Dixie College library right now. I just had a great lesson in human anatomy about scrotums, testicles, penises, spermatic cords, spermatic fascia, cryptorchism, and testicular torsion (yeowch!). I'm glad I just listed that for all of you to read. In case no one knows, I think the human body is the most fascinating and complex thing in the universe, and I plan to have a career, somewhere down the road, where I work with the human body, in some fashion. Perhaps I will study the immune system, which is the greatest buttkicker in the history of mankind, even greater than all of your fictional childhood heroes like Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Michael Jordan.

KILLER T-CELL- What exactly is happening in this picture, I'm not sure. He's either chowing down Mike and Ikes, or else he's being overrun by bacteria, which is kind of a sad thought. Some killer. Geez.

Those killer T-cells in your immune system? Awesome. They pinpoint the enemy, poke HOLES in it, and then inject deadly toxin into it. The United States Army should make that its killing method. I guess shooting people is pretty much the same as poking holes in people, so maybe it's already similar. But they should try it the killer T-cell way too. And they should be more blobular, and have little pokey-looking spine things all over them. And they shouldn't have any sort of face, because I am always more intimidated by a being whose face I can't see. Hello? Why do Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, and that guy from Scream all wear a mask? Because the face expresses emotion. Mike, Jason, and Bill McScream (is that his name?) have no emotions, except the emotions of unquenchable anger and thirst to kill. I personally think this is the key to demoralizing our enemies abroad: wearing scary masks. There you have it. This whole fascination with the immune system has turned me into a warmongering jerk, because the only thing my heroic T-cells live for, is killing. Pretty twisted, man. Pretty...twisted. They're probably not good role-models for your kids. Just forget you ever read this.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Through the Loop

A pass into non-existence.
Through a loop and out the other end.
This abyss we speak of, this nothing,
    is fraught with words shared,
    words forgot,
    words of meaning.
   Yet the mind creates what it will.