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Friday, September 14, 2012

Fall Colors

You saw the title and thought this was going to be some lovely poetic thing about fall, didn't you? So gullible. However, I will say this...I saw what I thought were little wispy clouds in the east/southeast sky a couple mornings ago at 7, but thought nothing of it. Later that day, I saw a report on the spectrum that apparently, those were actually smoke trails from a missile test in New Mexico. Okay, let's back up here. A couple CRAAAAZY questions I have. #1, what in the crap is New Mexico doing shooting off missiles? #2, I can see stuff going on in New Mexico from here?! Holy cow! Welp...I have nothing else to say. Oh, I felt Emily's baby bump the other day. I could feel little flutterings. FLUTTERINGS. SHE REALLY IS WITH CHILD.

In two weeks, I will learn the gender of my well-beloved firstborn. "But Holden," you say. "You must be referring to the 'sex' of the baby. Gender is socialized." NO. SHUT UP.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Complimentary Mint

If you lay on your back and stare up at a spinning ceiling fan, you can focus your eyes just right, and then the fan will actually appear to be spinning the opposite direction. Something I have learned during many hours of staring up at a ceiling fan and being an uninteresting member of society.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Four Weddings and a Hamburger

I attended the dedication of the Jeffrey R. Holland Memorial Commons today. It was nice. I felt dirty and unshaven in the presence of apostles. Also, I shook the hands of President Uchdorf and Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. Sometimes, I wish there weren't 13 million members of the church in the world, so that when an apostle shook my hand, he would actually want to talk to me and get to know me, rather than having to rush off to some other assignment, or rush off simply because there's 30 teenage girls in his face, snapping pictures with their cell phones and screaming like they're at a Justin Bieber concert. Because I wish I had some friends. And apostles would make pretty good friends.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Like A Leper

It's cold here at work. Also, it's early morning, when my body temperature is at its lowest point in the day. Do you realize what that means? It's means I'm cold. I've been itching to write something, but I don't know what. I feel like going and running through sunshine. I wouldhave gone on a jog during my 15 minute break, but I decided that break would be better spent using the restroom. An exciting alternative! What alternatives have you come up with lately? I decided I'm really impulsive, especially when I'm driving. If I'm driving down a street and I get the urge to turn down another street, for no reason at all, I'll do it, even if I'm RIGHT AT THE TURN when the thought comes. This involves slamming on the brakes, or, when in those rare instances when I'm feeling safer, making a U turn somewhere. How about that? I scared Emily to death the other night when we were driving because I hit the brakes and made an extremely sudden turn onto the road that goes up to the Flood Street Theatre...all because I wanted to know what movies were playing. This could've been avoided, I think, by using the "Internets" to figure out what movies were playing. But too bad.

AND THEN WE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE MOVIES.

The end.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Run, Young Friend

Better to have loved a clam and lost, than to never have loved a clam at all.