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Monday, July 20, 2009

1) The repetition is killing me. I am officially sick of Dixie Nutrition now. I think I'll go get a new job. Emily and I ate arby's food out on the front bench of Dixie Nutrition today. It was a bold statement, sitting there in front of Healthy Food Headquarters, chowing down on a turkey-bacon-swiss, GOSH it was so good. Take that Dixie Nutrition. Your evil empire is about to come to an end. Just kidding!

2) We got our invitations today! Hooray! Those'll be getting sent out. Party.

3) I witnessed the Fed-Ex man pull a dog biscuit out of his breast pocket today and give it to my dog. It was incredible. I would do that, except that I don't have breasts.

4) I wish old people wouldn't look down on all us younger people as rebellious druggie punks.

5) I dowloaded the Big Fish soundtrack with my "50 FREE MUSIC DOWNLOADS" that I got when I purchased my new Cruzer jumpdrive. I decided it's pretty much the best soundtrack ever. You should all listen to it. Or not. I know Danny Elfman is pretty creepy, especially if you've seen Oingo Boingo's music video of "Little Girls," but he is really a good composer. So leave him alone.

6) I hope it rains outside. But it probably won't.

7) Why is cold water so much more satisfying than hot water?

8) If the yogurt machines at Dixie Nutrition are left on all night, and beep all night, like they're prone to do, but nobody is at the store to hear them, do they actually make sound?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I finished Harry Potter #5

I did, I did, I finished it, yay me! As I am usually behind on all the fads in life, and I haven't yet finished the series, I will proceed to book #6 now. Man, that Professor Umbridge was a jerk.

I realized that I hate being serious in my blogs.

I'm going to be married in three weeks. I'm really excited, but that IS really strange...

Peace to you all, I think I'm going to delete this blog soon.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Brandishing the Beverages

Isn't it strange how sometimes, our eyes can be wide open, but we're totally oblivious to what's going on around us? I thought about this earlier as I was driving home from Emily's. It was 1 AM...I was tired...I was sleepy. And I would go stretches of driving, but kind of in my own world, sort of in a dazed "half-asleep" state, yet my eyes were wide open. I knew that I was in my own world, because the radio was blaring very loudly, either commercials (which I hate), or crappy music, and I wouldn't change it for a few minutes. And then I would just come to, kind of snap out of my state of half-asleep, and realize, "What the heck am I listening to this for?"

I know this story hasn't been very interesting, but there's some good lessons and symbols I would like to pull out of it to teach you to better your life.

Welp, good night!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Uninteresting

So me, Steve, and Isaac were at Denny's last night. At some point, a semi-truck was driving slowly through the parking lot. One of the employees said, "What's that?" "That's a truck," replied manager John Sullivan. Heh heh! A witty dialogue, I must say. We all laughed. A LOT. BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY.

Later on, we were at the counter paying our tabs. I told Mr. Sullivan how much of a tip I wanted to leave. I think he had been listening to mine and Steve's conversation about our sweet "E Z Tip Calculator" functions on our phone, and he said, "You know, I always just start em out at five dollars, and then they just lose money anyway." Me and Isaac laughed heartily, not getting what he was talking about, then we said bye, and we left. Wa ha ha! We discussed Mr. Sullivan's comment for several minutes, wondering why we laughed when we didn't understand what he was talking about. We thought maybe he wasn't actually telling a joke. Maybe he was being serious, telling us how terrible it is that all his employees are losing money, and soon, there won't be enough money for food on his table at home. There won't be enough money for pants either. Oh wait, nobody in his family wears pants anyway. HEH HEH! Let me explain...John Sullivan and his family were in my ward once, but they never came to church. I went and did fast offerings to their house once. The door opened up, and I remember seeing a bunch of young teenage girls walking around without pants on. It was pretty weird. So I decided Mr. Sullivan is already poor, even to the point of not being able to afford pants for his daughters. To this, Isaac and I bowed our heads in silence, ashamed that we had laughed at him. From that moment, I swore I would never laugh at Mr. Sullivan again.

THIS BLOG IS TOO LONG. I'M SORRY. I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO READ IT AND LAUGH. GOSH.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Re-Discovered

I know that pretty much nobody finds this interesting but me, but I just had to throw the link on here.

http://doom1945.spaces.live.com/blog/

If you click that, you'll be taken to my "Pre-Mission Blog," which I kept up from May 2005 to October 2006. I was lurking around the internet this evening, and I stumbled upon it somehow. I found it utterly hilarious, with the exception of a few lame depressing entries, and it made me grateful that the old "emotional meditative" Holden is dead. Oh, and there's photos on there too. Have fun looking at it, if you're bored and need some laughs.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Tribute to Kim Jong-Il

Kim Jong-il's official biography states that he was born in a secret military camp on Baekdu Mountain in northern Korea on Februrary 16th, 1942. Official biographers claim that his birth at Baekdu Mountain was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow over the mountain and a new star in the heavens.

Kim is said to be a huge film buff, owning a collection of more than 20,000 movies. His reported favorites are the Friday the 13th, Rambo, James Bond, and Godzilla series.


Also an apparent golfer, North Korean state media reports that Kim routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round (wow). His official biography also claims that Kim has composed six operas and enjoys staging elaborate musicals. Kim also refers to himself as an "internet expert."

[thanks to Wikipedia]

All you have to do is just LOOK at that guy to realize how important and wonderful he must be to have had his birth foretold by a swallow, and a new star in the sky. Wow. He truly is the Chosen One.