STUFF I LOST, GUYS

My notable possessions that have disappeared:

Toy cocking rifle I received for my birthday when I was 4.

Bike I got for Christmas in 1995 (I don't remember the brand, but the logo was some sort of black/white checkerboard thing).

Backpack which contained many textbooks and an Audubon Guide to the Night Sky (2017).

A pocket watch my brother brought back from China a few years ago.

A miniature Star Wars lunchbox (lost at Coral Desert Rehab).

My quad scriptures that disappeared whilst on my mission (possibly on a missionary choir trip to Hopkinsville, KY.)

Magnetic hematite that I purchased from "Cowboys & Indians" two months ago.

If you have seen any of these things around, please contact me ASAP as possible. 

Michael Myers the Robot Vacuum

These are the notifications I get on my phone every single time Michael Myers, our robot vacuum, does something special or gets himself into trouble. Aw, poor little guy, can't even get himself down from a cliff!

BUSINESS

I changed the theme, because, let's all face it... that last one sucked. I mean, really sucked. Weren't you just sick of it? I was. Now when I changed the theme, I was given the option of changing the background picture. And of course, I chose BUSINESS. Because, let's all face it... the new theme of the blog is BUSINESS. So from now on, every post will be about BUSINESS. Because we're all about BUSINESS here. Have you ever looked at the word BUSINESS and thought about how funny it is? It's like... being busy. To have a business is to have something that makes you busy. Now look at the word BUSY. It's pronounced BIZZY. I RUN A SUCCESSFUL BIZZINESS. All right, enough of this.

Oh, I also got rid of the fishing gadget, which was fun for like, 10 seconds back when I first put it on there. And my list of disciples, none of whom have glanced at this blog I'm pretty sure in at least five years.

MERRY FEBRUARY 16TH.

SUPPORT DENTISTS

I stubbed my toe the other day. I'm so mad about it. You know what else I'm mad about? Nothing. Except that no one ever reads my posted blog links on Facespace. But would you like to know what people do? They will "like" the post. Even if they don't actually read it. Do you think I care about your little "likes?" DO YOU THINK I WANT ALL YOUR STUPID "LIKES?" URRRGGGHHMAGURGENNNSTEIN. So no more posting on Facespace for me. Facespace is for jerks. Awww, who am I kidding, I can't be mad at any of you. You're all too cute. You'd be cuter though if you would read my stuff. But now you can't read Henry H. Pottermore Episode II, because it's on a hidden blog that you don't know the address to. But I'll tell you the address. In other words, if you're cool and somehow stumbled onto my blog here, you're the only one who knows the secret.

https://hankjonesproject.wordpress.com/2018/02/11/henry-h-pottermore-vol-ii/

THE SECRET THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING.

Here's the thing... I don't care if you like it or hate its guts. But just read it. I happen to like the Henry H. Pottermore story because it makes me giggle, especially at the part where Chuck McChucklin and Henry are visiting at the partition. That's my favorite part. It makes me laugh. Isn't that amazing? I laugh at my own gags. And that's the most important part. Now get outta here.

KOBETIME

This is a song I wrote called "Kobe's Lullaby," so called because it's the song that Kobetime "JellyBean" Bryant listens to every night to put himself to sleep after a hard day of sports. Listen to it. Reflect on your own trials and tribulations. Let it calm you and ease your mind.